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From: Denise Hubbard [denise@buiIdingbIocksadoption.comJ

Sent: Friday, August 06, 1999 1:31 PM

To: A Sandi Harding

Subject: BUILDING BLOCKS ELECTRONIC NEWSLETTER

BUILDING BLOCKS ELECTRONIC NEWSLETTER

Its that time again. Another two weeks has gone by and here we are again! As you all know our biggest news in the last two weeks is the crib and formula projects headed by two pre-adoptive families. These families have made great sacrifices in their lives for these wonderful children with their personal time. Thank you to the Ellington and Patenaude Families.

Bulgaria Program

The Bulgaria program is going strong. We now have 11 families in this program. Out of the 11 families 13 children will have new mama's and papa's and a life they would never dream of having otherwise.

Currently we have many 12 month old children waiting to be placed with families. These children are located in the village of Kurdjali Bulgaria. The most important child that needs placement within the next month is Hristo. Hristo is going to be 4 yrs of age in the January and automatically will get moved to the next orphanage which will be the school age orphanage. The orphanage director has stated that since Hristo is the center of attention in his current home and has resided there for the last three years he will have a difficulty adjusting to not being the center of attention at the next orphanage. "We need to get him placed she insisted. I stated, we can only try. Hristo has strabismus, which means he's cross-eyed. He is a normal healthy toddler otherwise. I met Hristo about a month ago. He was very interested in the camera I was holding and kept hugging me, he broke my heart! If you or anyone you know would be interested in adopting Hristo, please contact our office immediately. We can possibly hold Hristo in his current orphanage if he has adoptive parents.

My travel to Bulgaria

Kurdjali is approx. 4 hrs. southeast of Sofia, the capitol of Bulgaria. Driving through the countryside and little villages on our way to Kurdjali was breathtakingly beautiful, the farms were neatly planted, old and young alike worked in the fields, donkeys, cows, bulls, goats, chickens and many other animals strolled in the dirt roads through the villages. Kurdjali is a small poor village. The orphanage in Kurdjali houses 140 infants and toddlers from the ages of 0-3yrs. The children are very well taken care of and up to their age in development. Currently the orphanage is headed by a pediatric physician, and a staff of 180 personnel, which includes physicians, nurses and caretakers. The atmosphere reminds me of a cold sterile old hospital that you would see in a late show on a weeknight with all the war soldiers. The children have very little clothing, shoes, toys and unsafe bedding. This is where the Patenaude family came in and took charge and decided to help these children and many others who will share the cribs later in life. These cribs are white steel, held together with gauze strips.

The toy room has a small quantity of toys that the children seem to take turns sharing. The walls our white and the lights are kept off to keep the building cool. Caretakers scurry from one child to the next, hugging, kissing and holding each child to ensure some sort of love or touch. Some of the caretakers were bathing the children in large sinks. It was nice to see and hear the laughter of children playing under the faucet as they were being bathed. I tapped on the glass window where a little boy was being bathed, he pressed his little nose up against the window while standing in the sink and licked the window and started to giggle. I cried (of course I did), so cute and sad. I knew he could not be adopted; the director advised me his parents would not give consent. The caretaker was taking his little hand and waving it up and down, he giggled, turned to her and laid his head on her shoulder, how nice to see the love the caretakers give. But I know a parent's love cannot be replaced by a caretaker.

Walking down the gloomy dark haIl, the director led us into a room where newborns reside. Looking at 15 newborns, normal, healthy and perfect lying in tiny white steel bassinets, I immediate thought, WHY? Why do we have to wait to place these wonderful children? Maybe I can slide one in my backpack? The director asked, "do you have a dossier? Oh sure burst my bubble. In 12 months these children can go home she said. That is your job. No pressure!

The director made it clear that all children are cared for the best possible way for what they have.

The two year olds live on the next floor. Boy are they funny! The director pointed out a little girl with blonde curly hair. Immediately I responded, "Shukrie , yes, the Homeyer families prospective new daughter. I walked in the room and knelt down and said "Hello, Shukrie , she climbed up on my knee (wet pants and all!) and planted herself there with her little brown bear. I asked for the bear and she handed it to me, all smiles. I knew then with her new mom's personality she was the perfect child for the Homeyers. The Homeyers leave tomorrow (Friday, August 6 ) to meet their new daughter Maddie (Shurkne). Congrats!

The next room, I was told, were children who are not eating well. I could not understand. They are jumping up and down, squealing with joy and happy? How can they not be healthy? Not eating well? Hmm? Curious as I am I had to ask? How can children so plump and happy have an eating disorder? Well they did not eat a meal, so they were brought here for a day or so to encourage eating? Sounds like a picky child to me? But if it works? Do you think the kids catch on to the individualized attention? I would! This room is where I met Djanan, the monkey in the window as I prefer. Djanan, chubby with brown hair, brown eyes, is a 12 month old bouncing and (I mean bouncing!) baby boy. Laughing at all of us on the other side of the window! Monkey! He was throwing toys out of his bed and waiting for the caretaker to pick them up. What a class clown. The other children watched as he just manipulated his way for more attention(which we gave). Patenaudes, what a good choice, perfect child for the Patenaudes (even though they never knew I would do this to them, monkey and all)!!

Third floor, we were advised, was for the three year olds. About 15 toddlers sitting around playing, how organized. The sleeping area contained little wooded three sided toddler beds, white walls, no color or windows. The toy area (each floor had a toy area) contained books, crayons, and minimal toys. I kept thinking of all the toys my kids have and how little these children have. As we walked in the room, some of the children met us with much amazement that we were there. The children would soon be headed for the next step which is a militant orphanage for 3-6 yr olds to prepare them for the school age orphanage which would come next. My heart went out to the little faces that longed to be loved and their hopes to see their first ball game or dance their first ballet. I cried again, of course. Hoping no one would see, the representative Valen came over and gently touched my shoulder and smiled. I apologized, he understood no English, but knew what I meant.

The fourth floor housed special needs children. There was only a handful, but even that was too many. We met a little girl about 8 months old who was deformed and had serious medical problems according to the director. She asked if adoptive parents would adopt such a deformed child. We responded a very special family would consider adopting her. Then the little guy, healthy looking, but with a severe heart condition. Rick our legal advisor told us that he also had a son who died at 4 days with a heart condition and this was hard for him knowing this little guy would not be given a chance. The director informed us that the procedure that he required could not be done in Bulgaria. I reached in to touch his little face and he grabbed my finger and wouldn't let go, I cried again. I kissed his forehead and prayed for a better life for his frail soul. In the next room a 3 yr old deaf and blind boy was cradled in a caretakers arms, he looked so content. The caretaker stood up to bring him to us and he cried with fear, the director approached him and rubbed his face with a gentle touch and he cuddled against her body. Again I was asked if he would have a home. What a hard question, I wanted to say yes, we would take them all. A young boy standing in a porta crib with downs syndrome smiling and clapping his hands reached out to me and kissed my hand. What a gentleman. Ok, yes, I was asked the same questions. The other children were described as being autistic or developmentally delayed. The director advised that she gets most of the special needs children due to her loving touch. The other directors do not want them.

Down the hall on the fourth floor was a line of rooms with twin beds and cribs. The director informed us this is where young moms stay while they learn how to take care of the children if they want them. She told us only one mom has utilized this space but she hoped that number would grow.

Walking back down through the hallways we came across a room with a line of children approx. 18-24 months sitting on porcelain potty seats lined up in a row all trying to do their business. One caretaker was clapping at a child's accomplishments as the other children watched on, then another child announce he had accomplished his duty and caretaker proceed to clap and dance with joy. The children were all waiting their turn to get the same acknowledgment.

Looking through the glass partitions from the potty room you can see the caretakers quickly cleaning up bed clothes and straightening up the children's sleeping area. The children were getting ready for their afternoon nap. The younger children are settled first then the older.

One more room to see, wow, how many more children could there be? This is where I met a 2 year old girl by the name of Gulkebar. Gulkebar, you see, has brown hair and the biggest, saddest, brown eyes I have ever seen. I went to pick her up and she clung to me. It was a very hot day and she was very hot and seemed very sad. She buried her face in my shoulder and would not look up. I rocked her and started singing to her in a very low voice and she looked up at me and gave me the saddest look, like take me home (or stop singing!). Then she snuggled up close and was very content. I could feel her little heart beating and her sadness filled my heart as I could feel and see that she longed to be held and loved forever. I whispered in her ear that I would find her a mama and papa, she snuggled much closer, dosed her eyes relaxed and started to sleep (then wet herself on me!). I carried her to her room and gave her to the caretaker, she opened her eyes and smiled. My heart sank. What am I going to do about all these kids? Then as I walked back through the director's office I remembered the Wurm family was looking for a little girl just like her. My heart danced with joy. Better yet, I could see her often, the Wurms do not live that far. Thank goodness! (Now I do not have to convince my husband to adopt one more!) The Wurm family gratefully and happily accepted Gulkibar. Congrats to the Wurms!

Returning to the directors office, the Ryder family were getting acquainted with their two new little ones Wesley (Radoslav) and Lucinda (Tarife). You see, the entire time I was touring the orphanage, the Ryder family was bonding, cuddling and playing with their children. The Ryders were kind to invite me along during their first trip to give me the opportunity to enjoy the Bulgarian culture and to share in the joy of meeting their children. In the two short hours that we were at the orphanage Wesley and Lucinda bonded, giggled, played and got to know their new mama and poppa. It was sad to say goodbye, but in just four short months the Ryders will board the plane again to bring the children home. (Hey guys! I would love to tag along, save me a seat!).

That is basically it for the orphanage tour, I will have many more memories to share when I return with the Patenaude's when they visit their new addition Djanan.

I know many of you have been waiting for the details of the entire trip, at least this is a shortened version!