Chapter One

How Not to Choose an Adoption Agency

“Some people never know

The enemy could be their friend, guardian

Yo, don’t believe the hype!”

-Public Enemy

 

    On Dec. 20, 1998, I attended Mikayla Shannon's funeral.  She had been born a month before with an irreparable heart defect. She had been the daughter of a co-worker and it was the first funeral I'd ever attended for a baby.

    I won’t describe the sorrow of seeing her tiny casket moving slowly up the aisle of the small Catholic church where the service took place. As the baby's casket moved past me, it hit me what lay in there was somebody’s life forever silenced, with no hope of ever realizing its full potential. 

    The image of Mikayla's little casket and the sadness of the Shannon family stayed with me for many months.

    After the funeral, I went to the mall for some Christmas shopping. A  Lauriat Books had closed.  In its place a discount book broker had set up tables and was selling any and every book under the sun for a reasonable price, cash only.  The hand of fate had guided me there – even if they didn't take Visa or MasterCard.

    Two books caught my eye that day, if only for the reason I had been searching for one, not the other.

    The first was a cheap $5 with the title How to Adopt A Child. It was basically a quick guide through the adoption maze. The idea of adopting a baby had eaten at me for many months; so many children in this world needing a home, even in our own country.  After discussing the subject with my husband Daniel, we both felt it would be best to adopt somebody already here in this world than to spend thousands of dollars at the infertility clinic with a slim outcome of pregnancy. 

    This book would serve as a beginner's guide on how to proceed with the adoption process. All we would need was to decide on a country and how to begin the paperwork.

What other sign did we need from above to start an adoption?

    The second book, since out of print yet in my sights was on sale for 99 cents – Colin MacInnes’ Absolute Beginners. 

    (I was not the only one who was to find a new beginning in this event. A few months later, Mr. Shannon left his job to become a New York City firefighter; on 9/11 he would suffer a broken leg as the World Trade Center collapsed around him).

     After more discussions with Daniel, we decided we would like to parent a baby boy, preferably from overseas. There appeared to be many more boys available for adoption than girls.  We both knew international adoption was a costly affair, yet we had some money in the form of a mutual fund account set up by Daniel’s father when he was still a child; the initial $1,000 in 1978 from an inheritance from his grandmother had grown to well over $28,000 by December 1998. That increase was largely due to the market bubble of the time. 

    Those of you first contemplating this journey as you read this, ask yourselves how you got here.  

    Perhaps you were at rock bottom. Or perhaps you already had children and wanted to help another person out in this world. 

    Those of you who have already completed the journey know whereof we speak. Think of your state of mind when you made this decision – and how emotionally vulnerable you were. Well, that was us in December 1998.

    By January 1999, we needed more information. I seriously began to explore the Internet on the subject of International Adoption. Previously I had viewed this "information superhighway" as an idle distraction of my husband’s that did have the side benefit of allowing us to stay in touch with distant friends and relatives.

    Adoption was the “killer app” which got me online and using email. I spent hours searching over on adoption.com, adopting.com, Fertile Thoughts, and viewing the photos of waiting children on photolistings such as Precious in His Sight and Rainbow Kids.  

    Who could erase the images of those children in Eastern Europe, Asia and Latin America searching for a parent to love them? Like everybody who came before and was to come after, I was swayed by the images.  The search for the “perfect” adoption agency to help us adopt a child was underway.

    Daniel and I discussed which country we would like to adopt from.  Russia was the obvious choice. I had a degree in Russian Studies and had spent the summer of 1990 in Moscow, Russia relatively on my own. Daniel had also studied Russian and visited the Soviet Union two years before that.  Since he and I met in a Soviet Geography class we were thus familiar with the country, its culture and its customs — or so we believed.

    We ruled China out believing, at the time, we didn't meet the country's qualifications.  We also didn't want a girl, and again, Russia became the obvious choice for us.  However, Russia didn't seem to be viewed as such a great place to adopt from.

    When I told my gynecologist of my decision to adopt from Russia instead of pursuing any sort of enhanced fertility treatments, she wrinkled her nose and said, “Don’t adopt from Eastern Europe! I can’t tell you how many families I know adopt from there and get very ill children.”  

    Another woman, who was adopting from Ethiopia, informed me that at her school (she worked as a special ed teacher), an adopted girl from Eastern Europe had strangled and killed the classroom’s pet hamster. 

    We didn't listen to the naysayers.  We truly believed Russia was to be the heritage of our future son.

   Therefore, for us, it was emotional vulnerability, misplaced trust and faux glowing Internet reviews that led us to Building Blocks Adoption Service (BBAS) out of Medina, Ohio.

   While reading various “International Adoption” boards on adoption.com, Mary Mooney's now defunct The Adoption Guide's Bulletin Boards,  posts later discovered on usenet and on Parentsplace International Adoption Boards, I found all sorts of glowing reviews of BBAS, put forth by a gaggle of supporters and happy adoptive parents. 

    There was Cory Wood, who had adopted a baby girl from Perm, Russia, praising Denise Hubbard, her cheaper prices, care towards her clients, her personal one-on-one service to her clients and her devotion to "God's orphaned children."

    There were the Golds from Texas, Suzanne K. Meler of Ohio, Owen and Sandi from Ohio, a "Barb" who was from Virginia, and yet another Ohio BBAS client by the name of Wendy.  All of these posters claimed to have adopted children with Building Blocks Adoption Service. Each and every poster went out of their way praising Denise’s ability to make them feel comfortable with the adoption process. They praised the friendship they claimed to share with Denise.  

    Later on, I found the posts from Denise Hubbard herself which were most interesting to us years later.

  It struck me odd that some of the posts I was reading went out of their way to trash out European Adoption Consultants (EAC) in North Royalton, Ohio (just up I-71 from Medina) for their excessive fees.  

    “Barb” even went as far as to say in response to a post about EAC: “I agree with the previous posts.  MONEY is their only issue.”  What was the deal with this horrible EAC?   

    After reading all these sincere-sounding posts, I fell into the trap. Denise seemed so nice, considerate, caring – really in it for the kids in Russia.  How could anything go wrong using this adoption with this caring, helpful person? What did we know then?

    What we didn’t know was that my husband and I were to become victim to an emotional hard sell at a time in my life when I was open to being taken on the emotional front.  

    All sanity and sense had left me in my belief that I was doing the right thing by giving a baby boy a home — and Building Blocks and Denise Hubbard were going to be the ones to do that for us.

    When we first contacted BBAS we were impressed with them. After my first email, Denise called and left a message on my answering machine telling me that information would be in the mail from her.  

    And indeed it was, along with the initial INS package. Denise was also available, true to the glowing reviews, via email. 

    Upon my request for recommendations, she gave me the telephone numbers of three satisfied clients in BBAS’s home state of Ohio. One was a Cindy Courtright who had five biological sons and had also posted on adoption.com (she later edited BBAS’s newsletter).

    When I spoke with her I said she had the testosterone household. She was leaving to pick up her daughter in Vladivostok in a few weeks and sang Denise’s praises. 

    I can’t remember the name of the other two clients I contacted.  One was a single woman who commented that her daughter had been ill when she came home.  The other was a lady who had adopted a five-year old girl and whose biological son had physical difficulties. All of these families gave Denise Hubbard and BBAS a resounding YES.

    During this time, I was very concerned about what I perceived to be the bribery and mafia connections with respect to Russian adoptions, especially with certain agencies. Denise Hubbard reassured me that there was no bribery with her contacts in Russia and that everything was aboveboard.  

    We would, she said, only get a referral for a child when we were “paper-ready,” or had obtained all the documents we needed here in the U.S. While participating on various forums around the Internet, I took note that some agencies were giving their clients referrals even before they were paper-ready.  

    I found this to be troubling. Some agencies at that time were even giving out referrals of babies before they were off the central database in Moscow. 

    A change in Russian adoption law passed the year before required that babies and children were supposed to be on the central database for three months; various regions also required the babies to be on their own database for another three months, hence the youngest infant one could get from Russia was over the age of six months old. How and why agencies were being referred babies not on the data base at all was troubling.  

    Denise assured me that didn’t happen with her agency; so, after deep contemplation and nixing Alliance for Children in Wellesley, Mass., for advertising on an anti-choice website, we went with BBAS.

    In early March of 1999, Denise sent us BBAS’ information package. The back page noted of the pamphlet had a “Partial Map of Russia” highlighting the regions that BBAS was placing children from: Novgorod, Smolensk, Moscow, Kirov, Oleg, Tambov, Vologda, Volgograd and Perm. The prices in 1999 were listed as follows:

 

PROGRAM FEES FOR ONE CHILD:

Building Blocks Program Fee

 

Application Fee                                                      $150

(Non Refundable, Paid At Application)

 

BB Program Fee                                                    $1,500

(Non Refundable, Paid At Application)

 

Translation Fee                                                      $680

(Non Refundable, Paid At Application)

International Fees

International Program Fee                                     $3,000

Paid upon receiving INS approval and documents sent overseas

 

Identification Fee                                                  $4,500

Paid when final intention fee is submitted to International Gov’t

Orphanage Fee                                                      $4,000

The parents will take this fee with them o the international country and give to the region’s coordinator

Application, Translation and Travel Fees are separate from the Actual Program Fee of $14,500.  These are listed for your convenience. [Fees Subject to Change]

 

Travel Expenses

International Airfare (approx.)                               $1,200

Per person/round trip

Children 2 and over will have a one-way fare

 

Airfare from Moscow to city of orphanage             $250-400

Per person/round trip

Also children 2 and over will have a one-way fare

 

Stay in Moscow                                                        $1,300

Length of Stay, 4-5 days

Lodging, food, translator, driver

(Approx) Payable at Arrival To

Russian coordinator in Moscow

Stay in City of Orphanage

Per Day                                                                   $250-$300

Lodging, food, translator, driver (Approx)

Payable to Russian coordinator in the city of the orphanage

Child’s Visa                                                              $325

Paid in U.S. Dollars to American Embassy

 

Child’s Medical Exam                                                $100

Paid in U.S. Dollars to American Embassy

 

    These prices were competitive for Russia at the time and did not change on us. 

    However, my jaw dropped at the dossier preparation.  Notarizing?  Certifying?  Apostilling?  What?  How? 

    And the listed documents were just out of control.  Birth Certificates!  Marriage License! State Child Abuse Registry Check! Physical Exam! Letters of Employment! Intent to Adopt! Police Clearance Letters!  First Page of Our Passports! NYS Adoption Law! Post Placement Agreements! Home Study Agency License!  Social Worker License! Copies of Three Years’ Tax Returns! Power of Attorney! Post Placement Agreement from Home Study Agency! Certified Deed to our home! Proof of Insurance! Net Worth Statements!  Monthly Expense statements! Form I-171H from the INS! 

    Unfortunately while reviewing the page titled “Step By Step Adoption Process”, there was one little paragraph I missed in a section entitled Russian Federation: “10.  A completed home study must be completed by a licensed assessor social worker and licensed agency.”  This was not reiterated to us prior to our social worker’s visit in New York State.

    Finding a social worker to do our homestudy was simple. I was able to do that and in February, a social worker came to our home for our visit.  

    But, the homestudy that she was later to send us and that we were to send into the INS in New York City, was written up on her own personal letterhead – not that of the agency she herself worked for, Family Focus Adoption Services.

    Denise was helpful to us during this time of rushing around and getting the paperwork notarized, certified by the county and then going into the NYS Department of State’s satellite office in NYC to get the documents apostilled. She was available to me during this time via email and was attentive to my questions and my needs. 

    Truly, she was acting in a fairly friendly and consistent manner towards us.  And we were thankful for her support.

    Throughout May 1999, we were to receive insane paperwork requests to be all notarized, certified and apostilled. The deed to our home, proof of insurance and yet another monthly income report were requested at this time.  

    There was even a hint that we might need psychiatric evaluations to adopt from some regions. Denise informed her clients that we all needed to complete two original dossiers to account for the following possibilities: 1) the judge closes the region, 2) the dossier is lost between the States and Russia, 3) the carrier loses the dossier, 4) the region not providing referrals due to lack of specific child requested, orphanage director closing orphanage for various reasons, epidemic in the region and 5) parents rejecting numerous referrals in same region.

    I seriously wonder now if some of these were valid reasons for compiling two complete, original dossiers.  They seem to be valid, but still …there was no way on God’s green earth we were going to do two dossiers.  

    I emailed Denise telling her as much — the documentation was enough to send you over the edge. What did a foreign country need with the deed to our home?  More medicals? And what business of theirs was it how much we spent on our bills each month? 

    The added expense of having more documents apostilled was becoming a nuisance. As was the postage. Whole paychecks were spent on paperwork during our relationship with BBAS. Were other agencies were putting their clients through this? 

    On April 10 we received our completed homestudy, done by our social worker Pamela DeMan.  Unfortunately for us, the homestudy was done on Ms. DeMan’s personal letterhead and not that of Family Focus Adoption Services, for whom she worked on a contract basis. Only now can we appreciate the consequences that would later have for us all and the fateful delay that caused us.

    It took a few more days to take the big step, but on April 15 the completed home study and various other documents for our dossier that needed to be notarized, certified and apostilled by New York State were sent to BBAS via overnight mail.

    Residents of our part of New York State are somewhat fortunate in that the Secretary of State maintains a separate apostilling unit in lower Manhattan (for obvious reasons), so not all of us have to go to Albany all the time or do it by mail.

    When all our documents were completed, I took the train into the city from our home in the mid-Hudson Valley to do this and express-mailed my “fetus,” as I called it, to BBAS in Medina.  

    The only thing we needed was our INS clearance to complete the dossier. And then, it was on to the referral of our baby boy, after a likely wait of a few months. If that.

    Once received by the BBAS staff, we assumed that the documents would be reviewed upon receipt. We figured that if there was a problem with anything that we would be told immediately, and would do our darnedest to rectify the problem. Since we did not hear anything from the BBAS staff regarding the documents, we assumed that the documents were in order.

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