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ShipSpeak
If you're new to cruising, you may be confused about some of the terms in the brochures.  Here's a short list of definitions which may help you (you can impress your fellow shipmates by dropping one of these terms here or there). Humerous daffynitions appear in color.
 
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ADD-ON   

A supplementary charge added to the cruise fare, usually applied to airfare and/or postcruise land tours.

ABACK

The situation of the sails, when their surfaces are pressed aft against the mast by the force of the wind.

ABAFT

The hinder part of a ship, or towards the stern. It also signifies farther aft or nearer to the stern; as, the barricade stands ABAFT the main-mast; that is, nearer to the stern.

What you can take only in the most luxurious cabins

ABEAM

 A large length of metal, supporting something like a deck or  a wall

ABOARD

Same as abeam (see), but made of wood

AFT

1.  Near, toward, or in the rear (stern) of the ship
2. Anyplace behind the bow

AIR/SEA

A package consisting of the two forms of travel, i.e., airfare to and from the port  of embarkation, transfers to/from the port, as well as the cruise itself.

AMIDSHIPS

In or toward the middle of the ship; the longitudinal center portion of the ship.

ANCHOR

Anything that sits on the bottom and holds the boat where you want it.

ANCHORAGE   

An approved area where boats can anchor out of the channel. It usually has some protection from the weather.

ASTERN   

Beyond the ship's stern

ATHWARTSHIP   

1.  From side to side
2. A cross between foot fungus and growths on hands; caused by handling or walking on very active toads

AYE AYE

Expression of surprise, usually followed by "cheewawa"

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BASIS TWO   

A cabin accommodating at least two persons; also referred to as double occupancy.

BAGGAGE ALLOWANCE   

The maximum amount of baggage allowed per person, the excess of which may incur an extra charge.

BATTEN DOWN   

To secure all open hatches or equipment for sea worthiness while the ship is under way.

BEAM   

The width of the boat at its widest point.

BEARING

What goes on around the pool

BELOW   

Downstairs. 

BERTH   

1. Dock, pier, or quay (key)
2. The bed in the passenger cabins
3. What you hope does not go on around the pool
4. A parking spot for the ship. (You have to look very carefully to see the lines painted on the water.)

BILGE   

A hollow area under the floor (sole) of the cabin. Water collects here and is removed overboard by the bilge pump
BOARDING GATE   
A break in the lifelines wide enough for people to step on board. 
BOW
1.  Front or forward portion of the ship.  As the old saying goes, "the pointy end."
2.  to bend over in honor; also pointy end of ship, usually passes through the water before the rest of the ship

BRIDGE
Navigational and command control center of the ship.  On the boat, the bridge is where it's steered from. or where the Captain rants and rails (see) when he gets stern
BULKHEAD
Upright partition (wall) dividing the ship into cabins or compartments or a  very large restroom

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CABIN   
1. A "room" on the boat
2. Closet-like space costing $300 per day, used for sleeping and
not much else

CAPTAIN   
The boss. Do what he/she says; ask questions later. He/she is responsible for the safety of the ship and crew. 
CATEGORY  
 The price level of a cabin, based on location on the ship, dimensions, and amenities.

CELL PHONE   
Very handy for coastal sailing. Much cheaper and less complicated than using the marine operator for calls. 
COMPANIONWAY   
The steps (or ladder) within the vessel.
COURSE   
1. Direction in which the ship is headed, usually expressed in compass degrees.
2. What the Navigator is studying in his spare time at night
school, hoping to figure out what an astrolabe or a sextant is

CREW   
Everybody on board but the captain and passengers.
CROW’S NEST   
Partially enclosed platform at the top of the mast used as a lookout.

DAVIT

Killed Goliath, never went to sea

DEBARKATION   Leaving the ship.

DECK   

1. Level or “floor” of ship.
2. 52 cards, used in casinos

DECK PLAN    An overhead diagram deck by deck illustrating cabin and public room locations in relation to each other.

DISEMB ARK   

1. Depart from the ship.
2. Get off the Ark; a good example of just how old most nautical lingo is

DOCK   
1. Berth, pier or quay.
2. member of ship's crew caring for passenger's health

DRAFT   

1. The depth of the keel in feet, measured from the waterline.
2. Type of beer served in ship's bar


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EMB ARKATION  

1. Entering, or boarding the ship.
2. get on the Ark

EVEN KEEL   

The ship in a true vertical position with respect to its vertical axis.

FATHOM   

Measurement of distance equal to 6 feet.

FITTING   

General term applied to gear that is not part of the boat's structure, but is attached to hull, deck, rigging, etc. (cleats, fair leads, etc.) 

FIRST SEATING   

The earlier of two meal times in the ship’s main dining room.

FORE   

The forward mast or the front (bow) of the ship.
FORWARD   
Toward the fore or bow of the ship

FUNNEL   

1. The smokestack or “chimney” of the ship.
2. The only place on the ship where you should see smoke, other than the bar; see stack.

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GALLEY   

The ship’s kitchen. 
GANGWAY   
1. The opening through the ship’s bulwarks (side) and the ramp by which passengers embark and disembark.
2. ramp where groups (gangs) of salespeople await the ship's
passengers

GRABRAIL   
Section of wood, plastic or metal railing used as a handhold. 

GROSS REGISTERED TON (GRT)   

A measurement of 100 cubic feet of enclosed revenue-earning space within a ship.
HAWSER
Passenger from Indiana
HEAD   
1. Toilet
2. something like a scuttlebutt or scupper, but with running water
HELM   
1. Commonly the ship’s steering wheel, but more correctly the entire steering apparatus consisting of the wheel, the rudder, and their connecting cables or hydraulic systems.
2. Southern Senator

HOLD   

Interior spaces below the passenger decks for storage of cargo
HOUSE FLAG   
The flag denoting the company to which the ship belongs.
HULL   
1. The frame and body (shell) of the ship exclusive of masts, superstructure, or rigging.
2. outside portion of a nut

KEEL   

1. Boat centerline fore and aft running along the bottom
2.  barnacle collector; don't worry, you can't see it, so don't
expect to be invited to admire the ship's collection

KNOT   

Unit of speed at sea.  (Knot is one nautical mile per hour and 1.15 mph.)

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LATTITUDE

<>What the Captain will NOT give his crew when he is stern or ranting and<> railing

LEAGUE   

A measure of distance approximating 3.45 nautical miles.

LEEWARD   

1. In the direction of that side of the ship opposite from which the wind blows.
2. In the direction of Atwater, Petty, Greenwood, or Harvey
Oswald

LIFE JACKET   
Personal floatation device to support a person in the water. May be equipped with a whistle, light, shark repellent, etc. 

LINES VS. ROPES   

Line is any rope used aboard a boat. Rope is cordage made of natural or synthetic fibers. Rope is usually termed a line as soon as it has been put to specific use on a boat. 

MANIFEST   

A list or invoice of a ship’s passengers, crew, and cargo.
MASTER
Another term for the Captain; don't pronounce it Massa', or he may get stern
MIDSHIPS   
see Amidships

NAUTICAL MILE   

6,080.2 feet  (not a real mile; too far to swim to shore)

ON DECK   

Term used when going topside. 

OPEN SEATING   

Seating in the main dining room is not assigned.

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PADDLEWHEEL   

A wheel with boards around its circumference; commonly, the source of propulsion for riverboats.

PFD   

Personal flotation device 
PITCH   
1. The rocking back and forth (bow to stern) motion of a ship that may be felt in heavy seas when the ship is under way.
2. What the ship's bow (see) does in rough weather; what the
passengers do, on the other hand, includes the word "throw"
PORT   
1. The left side of the ship when facing toward the bow.
2. favorite nautical wine; also means "left" (both words have four
letters, a mnemonic device useful to many); also city with ship berths
(see), designed to create a giant sucking sound in the vicinity of your
wallet

PORT CHARGE   
Port taxes, collected by the line and paid to a local government authority; it may include other miscellaneous charges, such as gasoline surcharge and fees.

PORTHOLE

The entry to a harbor; OK, it really means a small window
that costs an extra $100 per day, but how funny is that?

PORT TAX   

A charge levied by the local government authority to be paid by the passenger.

PROW   

The bow or the stem (front) of the ship.
PURSER   
A senior management position on board ship who is generally a financial or administrative officer.

QUAY   

A dock, berth or pier (arguing about the proper
pronunciation can pass hours (kway? kay? key? kwie? who knows?)

RAIL   

1. Top of the sides of a boat, the gunwale; lifeline (guardrail) that is rigged around the sides through stanchions to prevent falling overboard.
2. What the Captain does when he gets stern (see); same as
ranting

REGISTRY   
The country under whose flag the ship is registered and to whose laws the ship and its owners must comply, in addition to the laws of the countries at which the ship calls.
RIGGING   
The ropes, chains and cables that support the ship’s masts, spars, kingposts, cranes, etc.

ROLL   

1. The alternate sway of a ship from side to side.
2. Small bread served in the Dining Room designed to keep you from ordering seconds

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SALOON   

Main cabin. 

SECOND SEATING   

The later of two meal times in the ship’s dining room.

SPACE RATIO   

A measurement of cubic space per passenger.  Gross registered ton divided by the number of passengers.

STABILIZER   

A gyroscopically operated finlike device extending from both sides of the ship below the waterline to provide stability for the ship and reduce its roll.

STACK   

1. The funnel from which the ship’s gasses of combustion are freed to the atmosphere.
2. Refers to pancakes, funnels (see), or girls around the pool

STARBOARD   

1. The right side of the ship when facing toward the bow
2. The pointy end of the ship when facing toward the sky

STATEROOM  

Your cabin.

STEM   

The extreme bow or prow of the ship.

STERN   

1. The extreme rear of the ship.
2. The Captain, when the crew acts like the crew of the Love
Boat; also the roundy (or, on modern cruise ships, squarish) end of
the ship. Usually passes through the water after the rest of ship.

STEWARD   
Personnel on board ship.

SUPERSTRUCTURE   

The structure of the ship above the main deck or water line.

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TENDER  

1. A small vessel, sometimes the ship’s lifeboat, used to move passengers to and from the shore when the ship is at anchor.
2. how your skin will feel after the first day on a Caribbean
cruise; also small boat to take passengers ashore, making them wonder
why their port (see) taxes are not being used to construct a dock
(see) with cruise ship berths

TRANSFERS   

Conveyances between the ship and other locations, such as airports, hotels or departure points for shore excursions.
UPGRADE  
Getting a better cabin than the one you paid for.

UPPER BERTH   

A single bed recessed into the wall or ceiling during the day.
WAKE   
1.  The track of agitated water left behind a ship in motion.
2.  What you won't want to do at 6 a.m., if you attended the midnight buffet

WATERLINE   

The line at the side of the ship’s hull that corresponds to the surface of the water.

WEIGH   

To raise (the anchor) [complicated operation involving very large scales, necessary before every ship's departure]

WINDWARD   

Toward the wind or to the direction from which the wind blows.

YARDARM

Important ship feature, determining if it's time for a rum

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