Dissolved in Ohio:
Chapter Three
Preparations for Travel
The Ponishes prepared for Natasha’s arrival. They converted a spare room into a bedroom, complete with crib, dresser and happy decorations on the walls. Margaret purchased beautiful clothes for her and imagined her little girl roaming around their home, delighting in everything she saw. The entire family’s hopes soared at the thought of adding Natasha into their family.
In the meantime, they viewed Natasha’s videos regularly. Peter, Margaret and Tucker spoke of the new life they would give her, surrounded by love and what a family in America could provide for her. Natasha was certainly going to have a bright future — a future she could not have ever hoped to have in Russia.
When Natasha’s referral was accepted, Wendy Stamper took over as their case at the agency. She gave them “expert” help with paperwork and answered rudimentary travel questions. Wendy was now an accomplished “International Adoption Director,” heading BBAS’s Russian and Kazakh (i.e. Amrex) programs. She did her job with a “generous heart, outlook on life and love for children.” As before, she maintained her “good cop” status when Denise turned into nasty “bad cop” agency director.
The Ponishes asked Wendy if any other BBAS clients were traveling to Amur. She gave them the name of one couple who would be going at the same time they were. Sound familiar? There were non-BBAS Amrex families going to Amur at the same time, but Wendy would not provide these names.
They were fearful of traveling overseas after 9/11. But their desire to bring their daughter home outweighed all their fears about travel. Others had made the journey, and they would too.
Jennifer Marando, the ACW social worker, showed concern for their safety when they mentioned to her how far they would be traveling. They were touched by her concern. Tucker would be included in this Siberian trek to bring Natasha home. It was going to be a big adventure for him.
They ran around making arrangements for a three-week absence. Although Amur had not yet begun requiring one trip, their stay was longer than previous one-trip adoptions. They would be one of the last families to adopt from Blagoveshchensk in one trip in 2002.
Finally, on Feb. 22, 2002, they heard from Wendy:
From: AdoptEric@aol.com
To: The Ponishes
Sent: Friday, February 22, 2002 1:33 PM
Subject: Travel dates
Peter and Margaret,
NOTIFICATION OF 1ST TRIP TO VISIT CHILD
Family’s name: Ponish
Date you should arrive in Moscow: 2/28/2002
Date you will depart Moscow for the region: 3/1/2002
Date you will depart the region for Moscow: 3/15/2002
Date you should return from Moscow to the US: 3/19/2002
Please fax us your flight itinerary as soon as possible. Our Moscow office will take care of all your airline reservations in Russia to the region and your Hotel reservation in the region. Also, please give us the name and phone number of a friend or relative to contact in case of an emergency.
Please keep in mind that these dates may change due to unforeseen circumstances beyond our control. We ask that you be patient and understanding in the event of changes in your travel plans. You are responsible for paying airline penalties due to changes in itinerary, so pleas keep this in mind when purchasing your tickets. CHANGEABLE TICKETS ARE RECOMMENDED.
Thank you and have a good tirp!
Best Regards,
Wendy Stamper
International Director
Building Blocks Adoption
P.O. Box 1028
Medina, OH 44258
330-725-0414
www.bbas.org
Thirteen minutes later, they received another email, this one the most telling we have seen about how BBAS worked in Russia under Amrex. Although signed by Wendy, it was obviously composed by Denise.
This email is chilling. Points mentioned are designed to silence clients into fear of stepping over the line. We have highlighted these bizarre points for the reader. Point “J” regarding “biological parents” attending court can happen. I know of a case where it did happen, but it is unusual.
From: AdoptEric@aol.com
To: The Ponishes
Sent: Friday, February 22, 2002 1:33 PM
Subject: Travel dates
Peter and Margaret,
Your trip to Russia is quickly approaching. Below are some reminder travel notes to guide you on your trip:
A. PLEASE takes carry on clothing for two days. Families luggage have been lost by airlines. Families have to be prepared for this possibility.
B. PREPARE for possibility of NO hot water and brown water.
C. PLEASE ask Rep to sit down and go over what the judge will ask and also what the Min of Ed will ask prior to your appointments. Please insist the rep. Take this time to do so. The reps in each region are most educated with their own region and to be able to tell you what to expect and say. Parents are advising that the reps are doing this.
D. Do not argue with the Judges, Ministry of Education, Orphanage directors or representatives. We need to respect their feelings, thoughts and their culture. Your stay is short; the out come will last a lifetime.
E. The average daily expenses for your trip will be $300 per day. This includes driver, translator, food and hotel. Remember you make chooses as to where you want to eat and lodge so this amount can fluctuate if you chose to stay or eat in more or less expensive places. Remember also a driver and translator is paid for total services provided. An example of this would be when you go to visit your child at the orphanage the driver is still paid to sit and wait for you to drive you back to your hotel. Driver and translators are normally paid daily and will advise you how much your daily fee is. Please be sure to always exchange money in a private area and never in public.
F. PLEASE respect Russia and their people on your journey to become parents. You are in their country and need to respect their culture and their people during your trip. These people genuinely love their children and want them to find good loving families.
G. It is recommended you take an orphanage donation on your trip. Most parents choose to take a monitory donation or purchase a donation in Russia.
H. Due to the recent changes in Russia, we have been told in order to make the process go easier that all families are not to mention their agencies name. The only agency that should be mentioned is the homestudy agency you used. Do not mention Building Blocks to anyone, not even the reps, attys. Etc. You are not to tell anyone of the agency but the homestudy agency. Also if the judge asks how you got a referral you must tell them the Ministry of Education. OR please say whatever the rep in Russia tells you to say. The rep knows what the judge wants to hear.
I. PLEASE prepare for the possibility that the 10 day waiting period may not be waived. The Russia reps are advising it is about a 50/50 chance that it will be. Many factors go into the judges decision to waive the 10 days and this can not be foreseen.
J. Please prepare for the possibility in some cases that the biological parents may attend court. It is a formality and will not effect the adoption.
REMEMBER – Go with the flow.
ANY questions please let me know.
Also, here are your emergency contact numbers. Please take them with you.
Your emergency contact person is Val. He is an interpreter and speaks very good English.
Numbers for calling from outside Russia, Numbers for calling from region to Moscow
Best Regards,
Wendy Stamper
International Director
Building Blocks Adoption
P.O. Box 1028
Medina, OH 44258
330-725-0414
www.bbas.org
This is where Denise steps way out of bounds, literally telling clients to lie in Russia. Was Amrex singling out BBAS as its pariah agency or were these Denise Hubbards’s ideas?
The Ponishes didn’t see anything wrong about this email because they still had faith. They believed their adoption was aboveboard and everything was in order between BBAS and “the reps.” They really believed the country they were traveling to cared about its youngest citizens finding a new life and new homes in the United States. And they had faith their little girl was going to healthy and what Denise Harding-Hubbard and Jennifer Marando had told them about her health issues was nothing to be concerned about.
They packed the telephone number of a doctor in Ohio to help them in a pinch in Natasha was sick when they got there, not at BBAS suggestion, but of their own volition.
This was about all the help they were to get from anybody at Amrex and BBAS.