The Wahls:
Punished for reaching out
Besides ourselves and the Corrigans there were other mistreated clients out in
BBAS Bulgarian adoption land. This
story is about a family whom we have chosen to call
“Wahl.”
During the summer of 2000, I attempted to reach Mrs. Wahl by email, but she
never responded. We are relating this story because we feel that they were
undeservedly made the scapegoat of Denise Hubbard’s paranoia. Other BBAS Bulgaria clients kept me abreast of their situation.
From what we know of Mr. and Mrs. Wahl, they are good and kind Christian people
who in no way deserved the treatment they received from this adoption agency. They too were
lied to about their children’s timeline.
Mr. and Mrs. Wahl were taken in by Denise. During initial contact with Denise, she told Mrs. Wahl that “none of
the [Bulgarian] children had any detachment problems or delays due to their stay
in the orphanage”.
Mrs. Wahl knew this was not the case, for she had been studying up on it knowing
full well that orphanages cause delays.
Nonetheless, she gave Denise the benefit of the
doubt. They went with BBAS and
received an immediate referral for two children — a boy (1.5) and a girl
(2.75) from the orphanage in Kurjali, Denise’s first orphanage hook up.
The Wahls visited in December 1999 and from there, the wait escalated. She reported that the agency was “a bit touchy” when it came to
answering questions, especially the on-going paperwork questions.
Again and again, while their paperwork languished in the MoH, they were
told by Denise to “relax” and let the Bulgarian system work its way through. They were given short, curt answers to their questions and were told that
everything was “fine” when in fact, there were some problems.
They felt that Denise was operating under partial knowledge of the process, and
chalked that up to the fact that BBAS Bulgarian program was relatively new. Kinks to work out and the like.
They
were also given the four-to-six-month
timeline for their son and daughter’s adoptions. When
they visited their children in December 1999, they felt that Valeri was not as
good as other agencies’ facilitators due to the fact that he continually spoke
through a translator.
She also
mentioned that they were never able to speak directly with Mr. Dobrev (somebody
I hadn’t even met) while other clients from other agencies were given this
opportunity straight away.
Mrs. Wahl tried to put these things off to Denise’s faux “positive
attitude” that she liked to portray, the “don’t worry about it and don’t
ask too many questions” front she put up when the clients got aggravated.
They didn’t get very many updates, and for Christmas, they received
only one weight update and a photo of one of the children and a 30-second video
of the other. Maybe the orphanage
director in Kurjali wasn’t as kind as Dr. Sabrutova had been in Burgas.
It all depended on their attitude towards these things.
And it was through Mrs. Wahl that I indirectly learned that an unknown BBAS
family had indeed gotten the luxury of making another trip to Bulgaria. She mentioned the fact that this unknown couple did not have the
transportation and attention as they did on the first trip, and that the trip
was an expensive one. Yet more
proof that Denise had lied to us when she said it wouldn’t be possible for me
to visit Anguel in March 2000.
By July 2000, the Wahls had a second courtdate because the homestudy agency’s
license had expired on their dossier. Nobody
caught it in time until the judge in Sofia looked over it. He then requested an entirely new license from them, which they scurried
around to get, causing more delays.
The Wahls posted very infrequently on the Bulgarian adoption lists. When they did, however, asking pertinent questions about the wait and MOH,
MOJ and court case questions, they were slammed down by Denise in private email,
much like Sue and Rob Corrigan would later be.
So, when Wendy Stamper sent out the “Denise is having gallbladder
surgery” email on May 12, 2000, WITH EVERY SINGLE PAST, PRESENT and FUTURE
BBAS client’s email address on it (save Daniel and Elizabeth Case, Matt and Mary
Hutchinson and John and Ashley Ellington), Mrs. Wahl sent the following titled
email “Bulgarian Adoption” to those listed as recipients (and since we were
never on it, we never got this) on the same day:
Hello to all!
Forgive
me for getting your addresses from Wendy’s e-mail!
However, I want to offer something to you: I am aware of several
families that are adopting from Bulgaria and also specifically the Mother
and Child Orphanage in Kurdjali. We
have been writing back and forth and have been received quite a bit of
support from the experiences.
I
am interested in communicating with anyone else that is adopting from
Kurdjali, or is in the same paperwork stage as we are.
Our paperwork is in the Ministry of Health now and has been there
since Jan. 24th.
As
I stated, I am already in contact with many families, however, hearing more
stories couldn’t do anything but help this horrible waiting period.
If
you are interested in sharing, let me know.
I fully understand that some people wish to remain anonymous and will
not contact you further if that is the case.
We are waiting on two children, X and Y who are now 1 ½ and 3
respectively. We visited in
December.
Thank
you, Mrs. Wahl
I don’t find anything offensive or intrusive
in this. Do you?
Here is a woman reaching out for support from her fellow clients. Some clients did respond to this, some didn’t.
Why Denise, Wendy or Sandi didn’t connect Mrs. Wahl with other
Bulgarian clients is beyond me. The
doctrine of secrecy and “client confidentiality” ruled the day
at BBAS, and did much to hurt and isolate their own clients from the TRUTH.
The BBAS Electronic Newsletter that Sue Corrigan forwarded on to me contained
the following, pernicious paragraph, aimed directly at Mrs. Wahl to
silence her.
Ask yourself: why is this SOP at BBAS?
Did Mrs. Wahl deserve to be hurt so publicly in this fashion? Perhaps Denise should have blamed her “sister” Wendy for the screwup
in the first place, as any competent and ethical businessperson should have
(assuming, of course, that she genuinely was concerned about some of her
clients’s privacy). Wendy obviously didn’t know how to send a group email out correctly to
cover her ass.
PRIVACY
Please
note, we as a family need to honor each other’s privacy.
When you receive an e-mail with other names and e-mails on it, please
check with the office prior to contacting that person.
We are happy to be the go-between in helping you to obtain contact
with each other. Also if you
need to chat with someone, we are willing to talk with the family member and
obtain permission to give out any personal information.
Some parents are happy to express their adoption experience; others
do not want to be bothered. We
need to honor this.
So, blame poor Mrs. Wahl for wanting to reach out to her fellow clients. And if the recipients of this email did not want to respond or reach
back, they didn’t’ have to. There is something on your computer keyboard called a
“delete” button which many use daily.
And who was fool enough to ask anybody at that office to connect them up
with other clients? Just so Denise
Hubbard could keep a wider control on us by seeing who was in contact with who?
“We need to honor this.” Yeah,
right.
The more you read it, in fact, the more offended you become. “We as a family
...” Huh? Since when did paying Denise Hubbard thousands of dollars to get the
short shrift from her about a child half a world away you thought you were the
only people who cared about make you part of a family? (Actually, it does, but
not a family that you consider Denise Hubbard to be part of).
My
husband also finds the stated use of the privacy of others to justify BBAS’s
heavy-handed censorship of its clients “Orwellian in the extreme.” After
all, it was BBAS itself that had sent out the email with all its addresses.
The summer of 2000 was a long one indeed for Mr. and Mrs. Wahl (as it was for
us). They didn’t post on the
Internet. They waited, waited,
waited for their children to come home.
On July 11, their first court date, the judge declined to hear the Wahls’
case. It appears that the judge
would not hear the case because their homestudy agency’s license had expired. Another date was set for the 24th.
Mrs. Wahl posted to the list on July 25:
This
will be short, as I am shaking too much.
Our court date was denied, due to the faxed paperwork we had.
It is rescheduled for Oct. 2.
We are so very disappointed. Thanks to all your prayers.
We will need them to make that date.
This time, BBAS had not been able to get their paperwork out of the Bulgarian
Embassy. The judge hadn’t accepted the
faxed copy of the homestudy agency’s license.
Of course, this would all never have happened if someone at BBAS had been sharp
enough to keep in mind the expiration date on the homestudy agency license when
the dossier had originally been submitted.
The Wahls continued to interact and support other clients who were in
the process.
Then, on Oct. 3, the
following was posted to the EEAC Bulgaria list out of pure frustration and
desperation, while we were ourselves in Bulgaria picking up Anguel. It had been
forwarded to us at the email address of the hotel in Bulgaria we were staying
at, by (who else?) the Corrigans:
Dear Everyone:
I
am very upset right now. Our 3rd
courtdate (July 14, 24 Oct 2) did NOT pass. The judge had some problem with the case and it is scheduled for Nov.
20! Over another month. I can’t stand it! We saw them for the first time last Dec. (paper ready) and I
just can’t believe we are going to have to be without them for the
holidays. I just can’t
express how sad I am. What can
I do? I feel helpless and zapped of my strength. So far, I kept telling myself God would see us through and I know
that’s true, but I ache so badly right now.
We have waited 8 years for children and I want to see them grow up
while they’re still young. Help me out here.
Sincerely,
Mrs. Wahl
How BBAS responded privately, I will never know.
However, the day that we left Bulgaria, we made it a point to
ask Mr. Kamenov about the Wahls’ court date. He told us that the attorney and the judge allegedly didn’t get along,
and that is why the Wahls were having so many delays. From his tone, we got the
impression it was indeed a difficult situation which he felt bad about not
having resolved.
When we got home, we sent this information along to Sue Corrigan to
forward on to the Wahls.
Unfortunately for the Wahls, the response from BBAS was cruel. The powers that be in Medina didn’t appreciate Mrs.
Wahl’s public post about court date delays, even though at no time had they
mentioned the agency, their facilitator or the Bulgarian attorney.
So, another bizarre and hurtful email missive was sent out to all
BBAS Bulgaria clients (again, save Daniel and Elizabeth Case and the other
blacklisted individuals) on Oct. 4, 2000, the day before we returned from
Bulgaria with Anguel. We refer to this as the “lurking Bulgarians”
email.
Upon receipt of this email, poor Mrs. Wahl was beaten into submission, so to
speak, by BBAS. In total despondency, this was the last post she was to make to either of
the Bulgarian adoption email listservs, as if she had anything to
apologize for:
Dear Everyone:
I
want to caution everyone that the intention of my post about our court dates
was not to say anything negative about Bulgarian adoptions.
I really enjoyed Bulgaria. Their
people are wonderful (our escort and translator are fabulous) and I am
anxious to share their heritage with my children.
It
is just that I am upset not to have my children with me and thinking of them
in the orphanage all this time just tears me apart.
We only hope that their case moves along soon.
Thank you for your support.
Mrs. Wahl (waiting on X and Y)
Other BBAS clients she had been quietly
corresponding with ceased to receive emails from her.
She simply disappeared.
I
learned indirectly, from another client from another agency, that the Wahls had
one more court date after the one scheduled for Nov. 20.
This one finally went through. Mr.
and Mrs. Wahl came home with their two children on April 14, 2001.
They have later reported a difficult beginning, but now that the kids
have been home for a while, things have settled down and they are adjusting as a
family.
Their children’s names were featured in an issue of the BBAS Newsletter, which
for some reason, we began receiving during the summer of 2001.
I
wonder if they attended that year’s BBAS picnic
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