PBEM Writing Protocols

Though perfection is never required, uniformity in style helps, and a few guidelines or suggestions never hurt. So here are a few simple requests from your GM in regards to style and punctuation for this game.

"DOUBLE QUOTES"

First and foremost, anything your PC actually says out loud should be in full double "quotes."

"What exactly do you think you are trying to do?" she asked, somewhat incredulously.

"I can't help how I feel," she murmured, looking away in embarrassment.

Note how a question mark does not end the actual sentence, so 'she asked' is not started with a new capital letter. Also note how a comma is used after 'I feel,' instead of a period, since though the quote is done, the sentence is not. Question marks and exclamation points inside a quote can be used without ending a sentence. A period, however, is not used unless there is no more sentence, so a comma is used to end the quote and the sentence continues.

These quotes indicate to others your PC has said the double quoted remarks out loud. Thus, if their own PC was in a position to hear them, they may freely act upon them or respond to them.

Please, do NOT add extra spaces between a quotation mark and a word.

" The extra space between the quotation mark and the words at the beginning and end of this quote is not helpful, " the GM said, pointing out their annoying inclusion.

Use a comma to introduce a quotation.

Tyrulf said, "We had better get the heck out of here."

Notice how the word 'We' is capitalized in the above sentence. Though it does not begin the sentence, it does begin Tyrulf's quotation, and so it is capitalized. Another option would be this:

"We had better get the heck out of here," Tyrulf said.

Use a pair of commas to set off descriptive text - I call 'tags' - that interrupt spoken dialogue.

"I have noticed," Sefarlain began, "that the tracks came from the north."

Observe how the word 'that' is not capitalized when it continues the sentence.

"We're not going with you," he said. "We don't think it would be fun."

Notice how, unlike before, this is really two sentences, so 'We' in the second part is capitalized.

Question marks and exclamation points, when they belong to the quote, go inside the quotes. However, any following accompanying descriptive text tag is not capitalized.

"What do you think you are doing?" she asked. Or "You murdering dog!" accused Afyanna.

Notice how 'she asked' and 'accused Afyanna' do not continue with capital letters.

DESCRIPTIVE TEXT

You may also indicate with descriptive text that they are shouting, or whispering, or expressing some emotion with these words that others who can hear the words may perceive. If you wish to exclude some characters from hearing your PC's words, the descriptive text can also do this.

"I think we better sneak out of town tonight," she quietly whispered so only her companions could hear.

This suggests only her nearby companion can hear her words, and not the bartender across the room or the guard by the door, for example. Also, if one of her companions is across the room, that person also cannot hear her.

Descriptive text may be used to exclude as well as include characters.

"I'd love to go," Jane said to Altor, as she turned away and rolled her eyes so Mary could see.

Here, Altor should take this as an honest expression Jane would love to go, while Mary could perhaps tell Jane was being sarcastic.

'SINGLE QUOTES'

When actually quoting a book, or other written material, or something another person has said, you use single quotes. Introductory tags are commas, unless the quoted material is from a written source. In that case, one uses a full colon:

She recalled he had told her, 'Never speak the name of that foul beast out loud, daughter.'

She recalled the writing on the wall: 'Never speak the name of that foul beast out loud, or you shall meet your doom.'

SPECIAL CHARACTERS

NOTE: If possible, turn off the so-called “smart quotes” or your text editor’s clever ‘apostrophes’ since not all e-mail systems handle them well. Use normal "quotes" and 'apostrophes' instead.

Also, do not send special characters, like italics, bold letters, underlined text, colored text, or other special characters. Even if I might use them in html Webpages as examples here, they are NOT to be used in e-mail posts for the game. Thank you.

*THOUGHTS*

Thoughts your PC has may be described as well. They are essentially unspoken words and dialogue, so your PC should have good cause to know them and think them. Such thoughts should be contained inside *two asterisks* to set them apart and identify them. Other characters cannot normally read your PC's thoughts, unless accompanying descriptive texts suggests facial expressions or body language may be used to help them do so.

*No way am I going to let him get me alone in that room,* she figured.

*God, he's ugly!* she thought, the expression on her face obviously contorting with disgust as she saw him.

The punctuation rules for inside asterisks are the same as for inside quotation marks.

USE HYPHENS FOR PARENTHETICAL REMARKS

Rather than actual (parentheses), the hyphen is an excellent choice to off set parenthetical remarks, almost like a footnote within the sentence. Use a space before and after the hyphen for the remarks.

He hadn't seen that move since his mentor first taught it to him over a decade before - back when Septimus was still taking students - and it still seemed counter intuitive to him.

Before him stood an old church - the kind that had commonly been built along the aqueducts.

These extra spaces before and after the hyphen help, but do not use spaces for regularly hyphenated words, like back-story, mass-produced, etc.

COIN ABBREVIATIONS

Money, or coins and values, are designated with two capital letters after the amount. A number, followed by a space, then the two capital letters is the proper form.

MP - Mithral Piece - PP - Platinum Piece - GP - Gold Piece - EP - Electrum Piece - SP - Silver Piece - CP - Copper Piece.

123 GP (right). 123GP (wrong, no space). 123gp (wrong, no space and lower case letters) 123 gp (wrong, lower case letters) 123 G.P. (wrong, no periods).

Combinations of coins may be expressed implicitly, thus:

He owed the barkeep 7 GP and 6.

Here, the 6 is implied to be electrum, or 6 EP, since that is the next metal in value. If it were otherwise, one would have to explicitly state which coin type it was.

He only gave the beggar 7 SP and 5.

(7 silver coins, and 5 copper coins).

But he gave the shopkeeper 13 GP and 4 SP.

4 SP is explicitly given since silver is not next after gold.

Coin notation is read out loud as GP, or gold pieces, but GP is most common and part of the Common Language or Trade Talk traditions.

ELLIPSES. . .

Never use ellipses to end a post simply because there is more to come in the story. That will always be true in a PBEM game. Only use them to show brief pauses in dialogue.

Embarrassed, he look at her and stammered, "I. . . I'm. . . sorry."

Some automation reads three consecutive periods - an ellipsis - as a single special character, but not all applications read them properly. Go figure. To avoid problems, please include a space between each period.

What the... (Wrong, no spaces between periods). What the. . . (Right).

ACCENTS

PCs speaking with accents are fine. The player should strive for consistency, however, unless the PC is deliberately trying to rid themselves of this trait. Normal rules of punctuation should be used. An apostrophe should indicate missing letters. Proper pronouns should still be capitalized.

"No sha, Ah'll no be goin' with ye, capt'n," Cosher explained.

*Thoughts* may or may not be written with accents, but descriptive text should not contain accents - only spoken or mental dialogue.

EMPHASIS

Special emphasis may be placed on single words by using all capital letters. Extra care, attention, and meaning should be read into them or around them.

He was either lying, OR he was confused.

Here we should take special notice it is one OR the other. It would be wrong to later claim 'He called me a liar,' for example, when in fact, he didn't. You may have simply been confused. Even if you concluded you weren't confused and could logically eliminate that option, they still didn't technically call you a liar.

"I'm not going with HIM!" she said as she nodded in Altor's direction.

In this case, one may infer she is not going with the man in question, and not necessarily that she is not going at all.

SHOUTING!

All capital letters on more than one word in a row usually indicates shouting.

"LOOK OUT SHAWN!" she desperately shouted.

TENSES

Most descriptive text should be in the past tense. 'He walked, she said, he looked,' for example, rather than 'He walks, she says, he looks.'

Valin walks over to the table and looks at the book. "Perhaps this will tell us something," he says. (Wrong!)

The above is not in the correct past tense sense. It should be:

Valin walked over to the table and looked at the book. "Perhaps this will tell us something," he said. (Right!)

He didn't know what was going on here, but he intended to find out. (Wrong!)

This mistake is common but subtle. Some tend to think in terms of the here and now - rather than the there and then - but it is supposed to be in the past tense when you write the description, like someone who is not currently there. It should have been:

He didn't know what was going on there, but he intended to find out. (Right.)

Similarly,

The sheriff looked angry today. (Wrong!)

The sheriff looked angry that day. (Right.)

FOREIGN LANGUAGES

All foreign text not meant to be in "Common Language" - though they are written in English - could be off set and indicated with <less than and greater than symbols> in a style similar to html opening and closing tags, showing where such language begins and ends. For example:

<Elvish>"I will not travel with the likes of an orc!</Elvish> he said in his native tongue.

Notice the back slash / on the closing tag.

Any such text that can be heard can be considered IC knowledge if one's PC knows the Elven language, but should be treated as OOC knowledge if one's PC does not know Elvish and only knows something was said in a language they didn't understand. The PC may or may not know what language was spoken, however. Ask your GM if this is important. For example, he may know they were speaking Elvish, even if he has no idea what they were saying.

PARAGRAPHS AND PRONOUNS

Each new paragraph should have one blank line of space between them.

Paragraphs should have their own quotes; so beginning quotes should not start in one paragraph and finish in another paragraph. Use a new set of quotes.

Each new paragraph should reestablish the identity of any pronouns. No longer continue to simply say "He said," for example, but at least once in the new paragraph, reestablish who HE is. "Thomas said," for example.

Conversely, using the actual noun again and again throughout the same paragraph looks bad and needlessly repetitive. Thomas said. . . Thomas then looked. . . Thomas frowned. . . Thomas then asked. . . Thomas laughed. . .

Nicknames also may be used to help cut down on the repetitive nature. Thomas frowned. . . Tom then asked. . . Tommy laughed. . .

While in the same paragraph - not only can you use pronouns - you probably should use pronouns once you establish whom you are talking about. Thomas said. . . He frowned. . . The ranger then asked. . . The man laughed. . .

Repetition in expression is also nasty to read. Thomas said, The ranger said, the man said, the priest said. 'Said' is used too much. Nuff said. Instead, try Thomas said, the ranger uttered, the man lied, the priest moaned, etc., as it is often better. It breaks up the post and brings it to life with variety and style.

REPEATING DIALOGUE

You may feel the need to repeat the dialogue of another character in your own post, and then have your character reply to it, even if that post immediately proceeded your own. Resist this urge. Instead, you should recall what was said in some paraphrased thought, or tweak it in some small way to help distinguish it from the previous post. This helps the reader avoid the feeling they have already read that section before.

Post one:

"Do you know who killed this man?" the guard asked.

Post Two: (Bad Example)

"Do you know who killed this man?" the guard asked.

Valin didn't know for sure, so he stammered, "No. . . no, I don't. You don't think I killed him, do you?" he asked with some trepidation.

This is needlessly repetitive. Chances are, the readers are fully aware of what had been asked in post one already, probably having just read it. But if it might be unclear to what Valin was replying, Frank might paraphrase the question.

Post Two: (Good Example)

Valin didn't know for sure when the guard asked 'Do you know who killed this man?' so he stammered, "No. . . no, I don't. You don't think I killed him, do you?" he asked with some trepidation.

Post Two: (Another Good Example)

*Do I know who killed the man?* the guard's question echoed in Valin's mind. "No. . . no, I don't. You don't think I killed him, do you?" he asked with some trepidation.

Post Two: (Yet another Good Example, and preferred style)

Valin didn't appreciate the guard asking him if he knew who killed the man, almost as if the guard thought Valin did it or was somehow involved.

"No. . . no, I don't. You don't think I killed him, do you?" he asked with some trepidation.

There are other ways this might also be accomplished, but the point is one need not simply repeat previous dialogue exactly as it appeared before.

OOC (Out Of Character) DESCRIPTIVE TEXT

Descriptive text helps clarify your PC's thoughts, words, or actions, and may be included wherever you feel it will help or add to the narrative style. Even if the style or punctuation indicates something already, descriptive text never hurts. So *thoughts between asterisks,* for example, might include a 'he thought,' anyway.

*No way am I going to let him get me alone in that room,* she thought.

Some descriptive text, however, is not to be taken as personal PC knowledge, but may be how the PLAYER actually describes something. For example:

"I'd love to go with you," she said to the ranger.

It may well be the case the actual PC does not know she is talking to a ranger, but the PLAYER does. However, as SHE didn't say "ranger," nor think *ranger,* there is no real indication she knows he is a ranger, even if the player does. Thus, this descriptive text is fine.

OOC COMMENTS

Out Of Character comments longer than one short paragraph should be sent to the OOC e-mailing list instead. If they are short and can be included in the IC e-mail list, however, they should be included at the BOTTOM of your post, only. Not at the top, nor anywhere in the middle, unless absolutely necessary. They should even come AFTER the signature. Even then, they should pertain directly to the IC play. Otherwise they are best sent separately to the OOC e-mail list.

OOC: I know Altor didn't say he was better than Cindy, but Cindy heard he said that from Jane, and that is why she is acting that way.

This notice immediately prevents Altor's player from thinking Cindy's player is also confused as to what Altor actually said, thus Altor's player has no need to make sure Cindy's player isn't confused, and every indication he ought to play Altor in this situation as is, with full knowledge no player misunderstanding is in the way.

Or you may make simple OOC requests to the GM. In this game - when addressing the GM - call me JimGM since Jim is not unique so the GM can't be confused with another player named Jim, or a PC or NPC named Jim, if they happen to show up. If no such player or NPC exists, then Jim will suffice.

OOC: Hey JimGM, how badly is Jim hurt?

GM reminders also never hurt, within reason. 'JimGM' may also alert the GM he should be in GM mode and not thinking as an NPC or thinking you may have asked a question or made a statement to an NPC.

OOC: JimGM, recall Jane still has Detect Magic up and could see if the door radiated any magic.

Or you might provide a translation of a foreign language your PC used in your above posted text. In fact, all things not in ENGLISH probably should have accompanying translations, unless no one around is meant to have a clue what is actually said, or any ability to do so. You should still provide a translation for the GM, but you may do that in private.

OOC: "Deus Vobiscum, Deus Miseratur, Annuit Coeptis. Ogma Cura, Deus Vult!" Translation: "God be with you, may god have mercy, He has favored our undertaking. Ogma heals, God wills it!"

Such translations are like footnotes, and such OOC comments are best given in the IC channel at the bottom, unlike many others that are better suited for independent OOC posts.

GAME SPEAK

We should feel free to use game speak and game mechanical terms ONLY in the OOC e-mailing list or OOC comments. Even IC descriptive text should be free of such things. For example, the following is wrong:

"He swung his sword at the creature," the +2 blade gleaming in the light.

I'd rather not see the IC narrative story cluttered up the game numbers like that. If you must use them, use them in an OOC paragraph at the bottom, or in the OOC e-mailing list only.

"He swung his sword at the creature," the blade gleaming in the light.

OOC: JimGM, recall this is a +2 blade.

Despite being short and sweet, such an OOC comment is best sent separately in the OOC e-mailing list so it does not clutter up the IC story or distract a casual reader with game mechanical issues that probably make no difference to them, or they may not understand anyway.

OPENING HEADERS

Please begin each IC post for THIS game with:

PBEM Orlantia:

If you wish to use an optional title for your post, please include it after the colon and on the same line. Any title should be considered OOC information.

PBEM Orlantia: The Lamentations Of The Women

Beginning each IC post with a header helps break up the posted material and alerts the reader a new author is beginning their post.

This header is followed by a single blank line before the body of the post begins, just as each paragraph is separate by a single blank line.

PBEM Orlantia: The Lamentations Of The Mayor

It may be possible the player's PC in this post does not know the man is the mayor, but he could still call him that in the optional title since title information is OOC knowledge.

SIGNATURES

A single blank line separates the body of the post from the signature.

All posts should be signed at the bottom, BEFORE the OOC portion, if any. Why? The OOC portion may later be deleted, but your name should not be. So it is 'slightly' easier to just delete the bottom part and retain the signature.

You can either sign your PC's name, or your own, or both. Whatever you decide, please be consistent.

- Jim (Alisand), or - JimGM, or - Erick the Red, for example.

The preferred form for this game is a dash, then a space, then the player's first name, then another space, and finally your PC's name or nick name within parentheses. For example:

- Wilma (Alana)

FINAL THOUGHTS

As you might guess, despite the length of this article, not all issues have been addressed. However, I hope most of more immediate concern have been covered. If you feel something is obviously missing, or simply feel another topic would be well included, feel free to write and let me know. Thank you ;-)

A far more complete list of protocols - in general and not simply those dealing with punctuation - can be found following the link below. They are highly recommended by me:

PBEM Protocols (A Detailed Look At Some Guidelines For Good PBEM.)

Happy Gaming ;-)

Email Jim Your Comments (Send Praises, Critiques, Complaints, Suggestions, Ideas, Corrections, or Submissions).