~ More from the Life of Sergei Kourdakov ~
Part 7

Slowly Sergei made his way back to the police station. He did not remember how long he had been wandering the streets after his frightening experience during the last raid on the Believers. The commander was angry that he had run out on his men, but Sergei had come to a decision. He informed the commander that he was no longer going to lead raids on secret churches and persecute the Believers.

The KGB did not accept Sergei's decision, however, and continued to call him to lead raids. An agent from Moscow even came to try to persuade Sergei to continue his work for them. Sergei was promised advancement in rank and the opportunity to go to the famous, elite KGB Academy. But, Sergei's mind was made up. He told the agent that his studies were a priority because he would soon be graduating from the Naval Academy. This would buy him some time--time to plan a way of escape from this meaningless life he was trapped in. Somehow, he felt that the Believers had the answer he was looking for. He was determined to search for the faith of those he had been persecuting.

Sergei wrote, "I realized I was carrying a heavy psychological load, which I cannot explain. It was as if my heart had been replaced by a heavy rock, pressing me down. There was something very wrong with life, with me. But I told no one."

In January 1971, he graduated from the Naval Academy and was assigned immediately to duty as radio officer aboard a Soviet destroyer. As he boarded ship, Sergei looked at his homeland for the last time. He would either be dead or free, but he could not be a part of this system that would inflict such terror and pain on fellow human beings.

Over the next several months, Sergei secretly planned his escape. He was on a ship operating off the coast of North America and he studied carefully the routes they were taking. He lifted weights to build his strength so he would be better able to swim to shore.

One day in early September, the ship began encountering fierce head winds and heavy seas in the North Pacific. Soon it was apparent that they were caught in a cyclone. Sergei was filled with hope as the ship received permission from Canadian authorities to ride out the storm within their territorial waters. This might be the closest he would ever get to the shores of a free country.

Gathering a few important papers and some photos, he put them inside a waterproof belt secured around his waist. He waited until darkness and then climbed over the ship's railing, diving headlong into the furious black sea.

The seawater was colder than any he had ever felt and soon shock and numbness overwhelmed his body. But he pressed on in the direction of the shore. As his strength was draining away, he strained to gasp for air. His waterproof watch showed that he had been in the water for nearly three hours. A large dark object was rising above the waves ahead of him. Sergei was elated! He had made it to the rocky shore.

But, no! It was not the shoreline. It was the bow of his ship! To his utter disbelief, he realized he had been swimming in a circle! Now what was he to do? Strike out for land again with his body and his mind numb from the cold and exertion or give up and go back to the ship?

Sergei knew there was no option for him. He would rather die trying to find real life and Truth, than continue to live as he had been living. But hopelessness flooded his mind. He was totally disoriented and he felt sure that he was going to die.

Sergei wrote: "I had been raised on Marx and Lenin. They were my gods. Three (different) times I had bowed before the lifeless body of Lenin in Moscow and fervently prayed to him. He was my god and teacher. But now, in my last moments, my mind turned to the God whom I did not know. Almost instinctively, I prayed, 'God, I don't ask You to save my body. But as it now goes to the bottom, take my soul with You to heaven, please, God!' I closed my eyes; fully believing this was the end.

The Apostle Paul, himself once a persecutor of Believers, spoke to the people of Athens as recorded in Acts, chapter 17. The city of Athens was full of many idols. Paul made reference to one particular idol inscribed, "To an unknown god." He then proclaimed to the people the Truth about this "unknown God"

"The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth. . .He himself gives all men life and breath and everything else. . .God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us." (Acts 17:24-27)

to be continued . . .

(Taken from his autobiography, The Persecutor, which is no longer in print.)

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