From the Director of Communications

The Adrian's Ice Bats were all even with Grumpy's Wolfpack during the delayed broomball opener. In sportsmanship. "Best handshake ever", said GM "Jumpin Jim" Lemire.

In a well-mannered game, the Wolfpack shutout the Bats. The Wolfpack's final score was estimated as being from 8 to 10.

In the nets, Ross "the Boss" Hedin, left the nets in disgust, and minor pain, as he said, "that last goal was scored after they banked if off my @*#$!".

Ice Bats Rung Like A Bell

Mike "Fistfight" Fay commented, "Grumpy's doesn't deserve to be in the same league with us.

They are a different caliber than the Bats, a much higher caliber".

Troy "Windmill Stick" Woods and Pete "Apparent" Overgaard got into a scrap with defensive coach Dave "Boomer" Antila and Coach "Shakes" Hanson while debating the ice thickness at the North end of the rink while the Wolfpack took undefended shot after shot on Hedin.

Even "Everything's Better In Brainerd Bud" Bakkonnen and Orval "Neon" Novak were no match for the net rushes of the Wolfpack.

Jerry "Sure Hands" Shurhamer and Duane "Killer" Koshiol spent the half-time period drying off. "I didn't know they allowed open water for broomball", said Cris "Hitman" Holst.

The city of Minneapolis definitely had not made ice conditions a priority, although they were available to cancel last week's game.

Shawn "Smoky" Hayes said, "that is an interesting color".

Post-game festivities attended by lone fan Amy "Rah Rah" Matthew saw Novak, in a rare display of vocabulary genius, rip apart Paul E. Dangerously's supposed heretical (her-ret-ickle) attire, not befitting his personal religious affiliation.

Dangerously, unshaken, calmly enjoyed the complimentary twice-fried chicken tenders and remarked, "Oh yeah, well at least I still have both of my lungs".