In a marriage a man and a woman pledge
themselves to one another in an unbreakable alliance of total
mutual self-giving. A total union of love.
Love that is not a passing emotion or
temporary infatuation, but a responsible and free decision to
bind oneself completely, "in good times and in bad," to one's
partner. It is the gift of oneself to the other.
It is a love to be proclaimed before
the eyes of the whole world. It is unconditional. To be capable
of such love calls for careful preparation from early childhood
to wedding day. It requires the constant support of Church and
society throughout its development.
The love of husband and wife in God's
plan leads beyond itself and new life is generated, a family is
born. The family is a community of love and life, a home in
which children are guided to maturity.
Marriage is a holy sacrament. Those
baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus are married in his name
also. Their love is a sharing in the love of God. He is its
source. The marriages of Christian couples, today renewed and
blessed, are images on earth of the wonder of God, the loving,
life-giving communion of Three Persons in one God, and of God's
covenant in Christ, with the Church. Christian marriage is a
sacrament of salvation. It is the pathway to holiness for all
members of a family.
With all my heart, therefore, I urge
that your homes be centers of prayer; homes where families are
at ease in the presence of God; homes to which others are
invited to share hospitality, prayer and the praise of God:
"With gratitude in your hearts sing psalms and hymns and
inspired songs to God; and never say or do anything except in
the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, giving thanks to God the
Father through him" (Col. 3,16-17).
In your country, there are many
marriages between Catholics and other baptized Christians.
Sometimes these couples experience special difficulties. To
these families I say: You live in your marriage the hopes and
difficulties of the path to Christian unity. Express that hope
in prayer together, in the unity of love. Together invite the
Holy Spirit of love into your hearts and into your homes. He
will help you to grow in trust and understanding.
Brothers and sisters, "May the peace of
Christ reign in your hearts....Let the message of Christ, in all
its richness, find a home with you" (Col. 3,15-16).
Recently I wrote an Apostolic
Exhortation to the whole Catholic Church regarding the role of
the Christian Family in the modern world. In that Exhortation I
underlined the positive aspects of family life today, which
include: a more lively awareness of personal freedom and greater
attention to the quality of interpersonal relationships in
marriage, greater attention to promoting the dignity of women,
to responsible procreation, to the education of children. But at
the same time I could not fail to draw attention to the negative
phenomena: a corruption of the idea and experience of freedom,
with consequent self-centeredness in human relations; serious
misconceptions regarding the relationship between parents and
children; the growing number of divorces; the scourge of
abortion; the spread of a contraceptive and anti-life mentality.
Besides these destructive forces, there are social and economic
conditions which affect millions of human beings, undermining
the strength and stability of marriage and family life. In
addition there is the cultural onslaught against the family by
those who attack married life as "irrelevant" and "outdated."
All of this is a serious challenge to society and to the Church.
As I wrote then: "History is not simply a fixed progression
towards what is better, but rather an event of freedom, and even
a struggle between freedoms that are in mutual conflict" (Familiaris
Consortio, n. 6). Married couples, I speak to you of the
hopes and ideals that sustain the Christian vision of marriage
and family life. You will find the strength to be faithful to
your marriage vows in your love for your children. Let this love
be the rock that stands firm in the face of every storm and
temptation. What better blessing could the Pope wish for your
families than what Saint Paul wished for the Christians of
Colossae: "Be clothed in sincere compassion, in kindness and
humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with one another;
forgive each other as soon as a quarrel begins. The Lord has
forgiven you; now you must do the same. Over all these clothes
... put on love" (Col. 3,12-14).
Being a parent today brings worries and
difficulties, as well as joys and satisfactions. Your children
are your treasure. They love you very much, even if they
sometimes find it hard to express that love. They look for
independence and are reluctant to conform. Sometimes they wish
to reject past traditions and even reject their faith.
In the family bridges are meant to be
built, not broken; and new expressions of wisdom and truth can
be fashioned from the meeting of experience and enquiry. Yours
is a true and proper ministry in the Church. Open the doors of
your home and of your heart to all the generations of your
family. We cannot overlook the fact that some marriages fail.
But still it is our duty to proclaim the true plan of God for
all married love and to insist on fidelity to that plan, as we
go towards the fullness of life in the Kingdom of heaven. Let us
not forget that God's love for his people, Christ's love for the
Church, is everlasting and can never be broken. And the covenant
between a man and a women joined in Christian marriage is as
indissoluble and irrevocable as this love (cf. AAS 71
[1979], p. 1224). This truth is a great consolation for the
world, and because some marriages fail, there is an ever greater
need for the Church and all her members to proclaim it
faithfully.
Christ himself, the living source of
grace and mercy, is close to all those whose marriage has known
trial, pain, or anguish. Throughout the ages countless married
people have drawn from the Paschal Mystery of Christ's Cross and
Resurrection the strength to bear Christian witness—at times
very difficult—to the indissolubility of Christian marriage.
And all the efforts of the Christian
people to bear faithful witness to God's law, despite human
weakness, have not been in vain. These efforts are the human
response made, through grace, to a God who has first loved us
and who has given himself for us.
As I explained in my Apostolic
Exhortation Familiaris Consortio, the Church is vitally
concerned for the pastoral care of the family in all difficult
cases. We must reach out with love—the love of Christ—to those
who know the pain of failure in marriage; to those who know the
loneliness of bringing up a family on their own; to those whose
family life is dominated by tragedy or by illness of mind or
body. I praise all those who help people wounded by the
breakdown of their marriage, by showing them Christ's compassion
and counselling them according to Christ's truth.
To the public authorities, and to all
men and women of good will, I say: treasure your families.
Protect their rights. Support the family by your laws and
administration. Allow the voice of the family to be heard in the
making of your policies. The future of your society, the future
of humanity, passes by the way of the family.
My brothers and sisters in Christ, who
are now about to renew the promises of your wedding day: may
your words express once more the truth that is in your heart and
may they generate faithful love within your families. Make sure
that your families are real communities of love.
Allow that love to reach out to other
people, near and far. Reach out especially to the lonely and
burdened people of your neighborhood, to the poor and to all
those on the margin of society. In this way you will build up
your society in peace, for peace requires trust, and trust is
the child of love, and love comes to birth in the cradle of the
family. |