A Community of Support

The Fellows-Shifflette Family

Information Reguarding John's Death from Martha 02/19/2007

Dear Loved Ones,

John died this morning. He was not afraid, though he had significant pain. I sang a soothing song to him just before he died, then stepped out of the room and he died when I stepped out of the room. When I came back in the room, I told him not to be afraid and to go toward the light. From the peacefulness of the room and from his face, I believe that he continued to be unafraid to the last. The kids and I are sad but OK.

John's body will be moved to the Ojai Valley Dharma Center (at the corner of Aliso and Montgomery) soon, and by this evening people will be able to come and meditate or say prayers with his body. Also, people will be able to write aspirations or prayers on his coffin to be burned with his body. In addition, any messages that arrive at our house by Wednesday will be placed in his coffin for the cremation. There will be a ceremony at the Ojai Valley Dharma Center this Thursday, February 22nd at 5:30 and a dinner to follow. There will also be an internment ceremony for his ashes on April 8th (time TBA) with a party to follow. (John has requested that we dance.)

My love goes out to all of you.

Martha

Latest communications and information

John and Martha

"One time my mom worked at a gallery and then she moved to a different place she could work. I don’t know what she does there. Daddy doesn’t really do work. He just rests in the bed ‘cause he’s sick. When we were eating my mom said Daddy might die anyway, even though he had chemo. I'm worried my dad might die because he's so sick. He rests all day in the bed and he doesn’t eat very much now. He doesn’t really eat very much because he’s sick. He eats broccoli… I think he likes broccoli. I like broccoli with cheese on it, melted cheese."

Lacy Shifflette, 03/26/2006
born 10/20/2001

In July 2003, John Shifflette was diagnosed with end-stage (IVB) Pancreatic Cancer of the type adenocarcinoma. There is no known cure, and 1% of people at this stage live 5 years. At this point, we are looking for miracles.

John, his wife Martha and children William, Grace and Lacy are part of a deeply loving and caring community. This website was developed to guide that community as this journey unfolds.

The following categories will provide you with information on John's condition and suggested ways in which you can be of support to the family. Please click on the desired category and you will find specific information on how you can be of assistance and the name of a contact person for you to call so that our efforts are coordinated.

For Information and contacts select from the list below or scroll through the document
Information Urgent Needs Additional Photos Emails and other documents re:John Web site suggestions, corrections or comment

Information

Should you like to be included on an email distribution list for critical messages on John's condition, please send your email address to Becky Benard

Urgent Needs:

Process for volunteering to attend John and what to expect:

These visitors would serve two functions: 1) company, 2) a person to call out to if he needs something. Persons answering this call could expect to spend a couple of hours sitting with John, getting him things that he needs, perhaps talking, rubbing his back or feet, meditating with him, or just meditating, praying or reading while he sleeps. Yesterday, three people came. The first, took him on an outing. The second, rubbed his back, made jokes about suffering and death, got him his medications, and convinced him to ask for more help. The third played the guitar, talked and drank tea. People come with their own personalities and their own relationship to John.

From now on, visitors should contact Jeannette Berkovitz at 805-415-1432 (cell) or 805-640-1863 or jeanette@mac.com to set a time between 8 and 8 any day.

Please give her your cell phone number, and expect that we could cancel at the last minute, or even stand you up. (Emergencies are a regular part of life with this sort of illness.) Please don't come if you don't enjoy John's company, and don't come all wiggy. Emotion is fine and called for, but anxiety lends the wrong atmosphere. Expect the household to be very loud and chaotic at times. One of your jobs may be gate keeper to protect a quiet space for John. Mostly, he is afraid that he will be in pain and there will be nobody to help him. You may sit there the whole time with little interaction and will still have made a great contribution to his feeling of well-being.

Thanks for being there.

DOCUMENTS AND COMMUNICATION

John and Lacy 10/02

	Eilam and John went climbing in the Foothills of Ojai
	Martha's 7-19-03 to friends and family Martha's 8-16-03 to friends and family Martha's 8-22-03 update Martha's 10-05-03 update Martha's 11-06-03 update Martha's 12-29-03 update Martha's 01-17-04 update Martha's 03-10-04 update John's 09-15-04 update John's 10-25-04 update John's 2-20-05 update John's 03-04-05 Weblog update John's 03-05" Chemo effect John's 03-05 40th Birthday Thanks	John's 03-05 A Note of Honest Thanks John's 05-05-2005 An Annoyance John's 06-05-2005 Diet, exercise and meditation John's 08-09-2005 Today I Am Beating It! Martha's 09-12-2005 update John's 12-19-2005 Hello Everyone. Martha's 12-20-2005 update Martha's 12-24-2005 update Martha's 12-29-2005 update Martha's 01-29-2006 update Martha's 02-25-2006 update Martha's 04-03-2006 update Martha's 06-18-2006 update John's 07-06-2006 update

WEB SITE MAINTENANCE

Contact: Jim St. Clair .

Martha's Uncle Jim in Idaho has created this web site to support all the efforts for John's recovery. Please contact him directly for errors.

Content has been supplied by Becky Benard and should be consulted for and major content changes.

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